To the “healthy” person, the number on the scale is just that. It is number that you can follow to make sure you are progressing toward your goal. For me, that number is my life. I literally live, and I guess more appropriately don’t live, my life by that number. That number dictates my day. The scale is the enemy! I believe TED made scales so that he can remind me of my faults, my short comings, and especially that I am worthless.
I am sure you are thinking, then why have a scale in the house? I need it! It is my security blanket. If I get on the scale and the number is too high, then I know that restriction is in my future. If it is a good number, then I look in the mirror and remind myself of all my body flaws, then I know restriction is in my future. It truely is a double-edged sword. Restriction for me is my punishment for not being perfect. Practice makes perfect the world says, and by now I should be…..but I am not.
Making Positive Changes in My Relationship With My Scale
I have had to set a few ground rules for having a scale in my life…..this time around.
1) I may only weigh myself once a day. This is really hard for me. I have weighed myself as many as 20 times in one day. Ridiculous you say, but true.
2) Good or bad number I may not restrict. I need to reflect on my choices from the previous day and learn to make better choices. I am not 100% successful with this one yet, but I just keep repeating in my head “baby steps”.
In the end, I must learn to be accepting of what I see when I look in the mirror.