Bottom line, my goal is to be healthy – not just thin. I have always wanted to run a marathon. But because of my eating disorder, I knew that I never could. At one point, my daily intake was 120-300 calories a day (2 yogurts – sometimes I would splurge and get the ones with the candy topping.) With that amount, I could hardly accomplish my daily errands let alone run 26 miles. I am not sure if I can do it, but I am taking the baby steps needed to work towards this goal. I have realized, I cannot actively be participating in my eating disorder (either emotionally or physically) and still be able to run a marathon. It is just physicially not possible. And they say the first step in fixing a problem is acknowledging that you have a problem. So, my problem has been acknowledged. I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER!
What I Have Done I started this journey actively on Decement 16, 2011. I decided that I was going to take control back from TED and run my life the way I wanted. I have been in the gym 4 to 5 days a week running and lifting weights. I did miss one week and I am happy to say that I still did not quit….that is what I would have done previously but that is a whole nother blog. Today I completed my 5K practice run in 36 minutes (lots of running but some walking). The big day is April 28. I hope by then I can run the whole thing. But what I do know is that if I am able to complete this 5K, it will be a huge accomplishment and I can say “In your face TED. See I am worth it.”