I seem to be rolling in my recovery on the outside. I have reached my ideal weight for my height. Wish I could say the same about my inside. Today during practicing, I ran my 5K in PR time…..35:00. You would think I would be proud. I was…..for just a few minutes and then the negative comes rolling back. Jump on the scale and the number is down. You would think I would be proud. I was….for just a few minutes and then the negativity comes rolling back. My thoughts go to
- “I would be happy if I was a 0.”
- “I need to lose more weight to get rid of my muffin top and flabbiness.”
- “My body still is disgusting.”
Why can I not be satisfied? I hate this! Why can’t I just celebrate my victories? Every day I am stuck in the rut of my struggle. I understand that what I am doing is harmful not only to my physical self but my mental self as well. I just cannot break the cycle – – – – I need to break the cycle.