If you don’t like sappy blogs, just stop reading now. This blog is dedicated to the man I love more than life itself…..Jimmy.
One year ago today, I said “I do” to the man who decided staying by my side on this journey was a good idea. I know that it has not been an easy journey fighting TED but hopefully loving ME has been much easier. I have so many accomplishments to be proud of on our one-year anniversary that I would not have been able to accomplish without Jimmy by my side.
Thank you Jimmy for “calling me out” on my eating disorder. You are the first person in my life who made me look at what I was doing and admit that it truly was a very dangerous game of roulette. On that day, I promised to you that I would not purge and I am happy to say that I have not. Believe me, there have been times that I wanted to but disappointing you was not an option.
Thank you Jimmy for encouraging me to see my Eating Disorder Counselor. Even though, I went kicking and screaming to my appointments and tried to convince you that I truly didn’t have an eating disorder but that I was just crazy. Not sure that would have been better, but you did not give up on me. You would even walk with me for hours, if needed, after my appointments to allow me to process what I had just discovered. You were never “embarrassed” by me crying in public, instead you held me close and told me how much you loved me and that you would alway be there for me.
Thank you for understanding that my defense mechanism with my Eating Disorder is using Zingers. I used them as a way to test if you would truly stay. I made sure that I gave you every opportunity to leave. I always came up with reasons why I wasn’t worth loving. How people left me because I wasn’t good enough and did not deserve to be happy. I never realized how many people I had pushed away. At the end of every TED moment, you held me tight in your arms and told me that you were not going anywhere and how we will fight TED together. I appreciate the help, because I can’t do it alone.
Thank you for nourishing my body but never once forgetting that my heart and mind needed nourishing too. I neglected all three and you stepped in and filled those voids with healthy food and love. No one, including myself, has ever taken such good care of me.
Thank you for training with me. I know you were so excited for me when I finally signed up to run the 5k. You knew how much it meant to me since I had been talking about it forever. But I have to say thank you that the excitement didn’t leave your voice when I told you I had signed you up too. I know inside, you were probably saying what the…. But crossing the finish line with you right behind me was amazing. And that fact that you took that amazement and framed it into a beautiful picture means more to me than you will ever know.
I just want you to know, Jimmy, that you are the man who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to get healthy and give you 100% of my healthy self because you deserve it. Thank you for never giving up on me but more importantly for never letting me give up myself. I love you ~ Happy Anniversary.