How do you handle failure?

What I am learning while training for my Half is that there are many small goals that are set to help get me to the end goal. Because of my eating disorder, I struggle living in a world of gray. I have always claimed that all issues/goals are black and white. Therefore, if the plan says run 4.5 miles on Tuesday, then it must be done on Tuesday or not at all. Oh, yeah, I have an all or nothing issue also.

So how do you adjust your mindset when there are so many chances to prove “you can’t do this.” This is what I am trying to learn how to do. Each week, I am given a mileage goal to meet to ensure I am able to finish my Half in January. But life sometimes gets in the way. What happens if I don’t run my 4.5 on Tuesday? Did I fail? What if I go out and have area really good 4.5 mile run on Wednesday? Does that make up for not going out on Tuesday? So what about the next run, what if I don’t do it at all, but I go out on the weekend and have a Great long run of 6 miles have I failed or succeeded?

Previously these would all be failures, even the great runs. In my mind, because I was not able to do them on the day they were scheduled, I failed. When I fail, I quit.

So why not now? What has changed in my way of thinking that allows me to get up and keep running?  I have come to realize that TED was the perfectionist, not me. TED required me to set unrealistic goals so that he could watch me Fail and be there to comfort me when it happened. He willingly would give me a rope to watch me hang myself.

But now I am in control. I control my thoughts and my actions. Although these thoughts still pass through, I no longer allow this negativity to paralyze me. I have learned that failing at something does not make you a failure. You never fail until you stop trying.

So now I will lace up my shoes and go for a run. If I don’t reach my goal mileage, I have not failed. If I have to walk a portion, I have not failed. When you realize that you don’t have to base your life successes on whether you failed, you can finally live your life to the fullest and be Happy with the finish….no matter what it took to get there.


About iltyp4u

I would like to introduce myself to you. My name is Angel. On the surface I look very successful and happy. I have married my soul mate, I have one daughter and two beautiful grandchildren, and I own/operate a successful at-home business. But, I do have a skeleton in my closet and his name is TED. I know that many of you also have some form of this skeleton, and my hope is that in my recovery, I can help at least one other person through recovery. Who or what is TED you ask? TED is the name that I have given to my Eating Disorder. If you or someone you know suffers from an eating disorder, I hope that you/they find this blog helpful. Please check back for updates about my progress/struggles. Also, feel free to comment on your progress. Follow me on twitter: @iltyp4u Follow me on FB:
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2 Responses to How do you handle failure?

  1. I have this same issue. Black and white thinking is a very difficult thing to shake. I’m trying to living the grey in all aspects of my life. Neither extremes are good.

    • iltyp4u says:

      I totally agree. I never knew how bad I was black and white until I started trying to think grey. I will come though because I want it so bad and I wont quit until I succeed in my recovery!

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