2012 was very good to me and taught me many lessons:
1.) No matter what I am going through, Jimmy is my rock. He truly is my Knight in Shining Armor. I have learned to let my guard down for the first time in 42 years. I know that I have imperfections and I need not be afraid that these imperfections will push him away. Instead, I must focus on eliminating my shortcomings by turning them into strengths. I now know that when I am falling, I am not falling alone. We fall and climb back up together, hand in hand, heart in heart. I love you Jimmy with my whole heart and soul. Thank you for being there for me during this year and for many years to come.
2.) If you put your mind to it, it can be accomplished. I chose to live a life free of TED and it feels amazing. If you told me one year ago, that it was my CHOICE whether to keep TED in my life or let it go, I would have laughed at you. It was no choice. I had so many excuses as to why I couldn’t let go of it. But once I truly realized that it was MY choice, I started to see that there were many more important things going on around me that I could change too. By making the choice, I won the battle. Yes I still struggle. Yes I still have thoughts of “what if”. But what I know is that I will NEVER make the choice to let it back in. Relapse is not an option this year or any future year.
3.) Do something, even if you are scared. I have met the best group of friends at River Run Club. I am encouraged every day to give 100%. We have girls that ran 1000 and 1200 miles THIS YEAR! Not sure that is an attainable goal for me but I definitely want to see what I am capable of. They have pushed me to get out of my head and just let my body run. I have cried on some of these runs because I realized that I was holding myself back from accomplishing goals, not only in running but in my life. I was scared of success and did not want to set myself up for failure. I have learned from this group that it is not important the time in which you finish, what is important that you celebrate the fact that you finished. Thank you for helping me see the finish line in my life. I will be forever grateful!
LOOKING AHEAD: Now I know that good things are going to happen in 2013 and many new lessons will be learned. But this year, I promise to not forget the lessons already learned and build on them instead of destroying them and starting over from the beginning. I changed in 2012. And this change is going to allow me to enjoy each new year in a whole new light.
My New Year’s Resolution – live this year to its fullest. I will not hold myself back. I will keep looking forward even when I am scared and most importantly I will hold the hand of the man I love through it all. For the first time in my life, I TRULY feel like I am not alone!