In our lifetime, we get to have many firsts ~ like our first step, first tooth, or first word. Many of our “firsts” come in our early childhood and sadly, we do not even remember these occurring. So to have “firsts” as an adult is very important to me.
Over the last year and a half, I have made it my mission to Triumph From TED and in turn truly experience the “firsts” that I am proud of. I have been weighed down by this eating disorder for so long that I know I want to break free, but sometimes it is the behavior that I want to return to because it feels “right” to me. But through my recovery, I am learning to distance myself not only physically but mentally from this eating disorder.
The only way I know how to do this is to keep having firsts. Since December 16, 2011, I have had many:
My first visit to my counselor (she said I was not crazy)
My first 5K
My first day I was truly proud of myself for my achievements
My first 8K
My first day not weighing myself (thank you for the pic that you gave me)
My first Half Marathon
My first Triathlon
And if you think that any of these accomplishments have come easy, you are definitely wrong. There have been setbacks but I am learning to get up and try again. The first day I committed to my recovery, I set a goal for myself. I never knew if I would truly get there and part of me wanted it to be unattainable so that I could fail (that was my mindset back then).
Now a year and a half later, I have learned 3 important things about myself.
1) I am not fast, but I will finish!
2) I have a lot of self-doubt, but I will never quit on myself!
3) I have an uphill battle with TED, but eventually I will get to run down!
So today, my first is going to lead me to this goal! I know it is not the end of my recovery but just a high point to help me get through the rest.
TODAY was the FIRST day of TRAINING for my FIRST MARATHON!